American Patrol

That stiff wind you may have noticed blowing in the direction of the Republican Party these days is the result of a combination of nature’s abhorrence of vacuums and the backdraft caused by the party’s “rising stars” spontaneously combusting like so many metal barrels full of garage rags. It should be noted that the wind is not at their backs. The 2008 elections represented a generational shift in American politics, and the Republican’s contribution to that shift was to represent the generation being shifted from, with the poisonous legacy of the Bush administration and the disastrous presidential candidacy of John McCain discrediting the party’s old line quite thoroughly. Thus, few political parties in history have been as dependent on their up and comers than the Republicans at this particular moment, and few have seen so many of their future leaders go up in flames quite so quickly.

Recent weeks have provided an orgy of Democratic schadenfreude, with Senator John Ensign (R-NV, adultery and abuse of power), Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC, adultery, dishonesty, irresponsibility, and an odd inability to shut the fuck up), Governor and former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin (R-AK, incompetence, ignorance, mental instability, and a similar inability to shut the fuck up) and former Senator Norm Coleman (R-MN, cynicism and electoral failure) all effectively removing themselves from any possible serious consideration for political leadership with as much public embarrassment as possible. Less dramatic but no less fatal have been the political demises of current and former Republican Governors Jeb Bush (R-FL, accident of birth), Bobby Jindal (R-LA, poor presentation skills and overindulgence in political apocrypha), Jon Huntsman Jr. (R-UT(co-option by Obama appointment), Arnold Schwarezenegger (R-CA, foreigner, Hollywood connection, abject failure) and Charlie Crist (R-FL, collaboration and possible “lifestyle issues”).

Even those remaining Republican up and comers who haven’t yet been hit with the whammy stick seem to be teetering. US Representative and Republican House Whip Eric Cantor (R-VA) has basically spent this house session showing himself to be a partisan political thug in the Tom DeLay mold. Governor and alleged McCain Vice Presidential short lister Tim Pawlenty (R-MN), whose decision not to seek a third term is more realistically based on the unlikelihood of actually winning it than any run for President in 2012, is about to torch the last of his political capital by unilaterally cutting the state budget after his veto of tax increases forced the issue.

All of the above, and any who would follow in their footsteps, have been further hindered by the fact that the party they seek to lead is flirting with political irrelevance. While not entirely stripped of power—media laziness and Democratic timidity just about assure that they will continue to attract more attention than meritocracy would justify—the central question of what they stand for as a party remains an open one, with the leading voices of the party tending to spout discredited Bush era leftovers, complete balderdash, knee jerk opposition, or a deeply unpopular combination of the three, and the attention of the Tin Foil Hat brigade an oddly sought after commodity. The majority has noticed, and largely rejected them.

While the Republicans are not likely to go the way of the Whigs any time soon—the two (as opposed to multi-) party system is a bad habit in our political culture—given the current state of the party itself, it is hard to say just where the future of the Republicans will lead. As long as “rising star” status in the party continues to be a kiss of death, we’re not likely to have an answer any time soon.